Ok...bear with me. I'm on my phone typing which is never good. Ha.
I keep getting questions.
*all four boys have a factor viii blood deficiency
*my dad has it...its hereditary
*thanks, B. Haha
* Asa and jude have a baseline of 5 which is the worst of the 4
*Titus has a baseline of 8
*Abe has a baseline of 13
*normal people are at 60+
*we've only used factor for surgeries and a handful of times in 8 years by the grace of God
*we let them play sports and will until it isnt safe. So far, again, by Gods grace, we have been ok
*they aren't the norm and we know it. Again, Gods grace and sovereignty. Several kids we have met in clinic have ports and weekly or daily infusions with asa and judes numbers.
*we let them live normal lives and be boys and so far so great
*yes a slam like abe Took to the head today ensues panic and could end good or bad...thankfully, thus far other than hours at the ER in flu season...we are good
*the medicine we have to keep on hand is 1000s of dollars worth at 2 doses per kid...ers don't always have it in stock so if we travel...it does too
*we've been so thankful that the boys have been able to be boys with minor bumps in the road this far and pray and trust God will continue to allow it
*we have FULL faith and TRuST in our sovereign God and realize our lives thus far could be so different (scroll to any March on this blog)
That answers all my Instagram questions and fb messenger for now. I'm am open book on this. Ask away!!!
Life as a follower of Christ, wife, teacher, mom to twin boys and a baby boy. It is chaotic and we try to keep it organized!
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Soaking It All In
The past 10-12 days simply don't seem real. If you REALLY know me, I don't cry. I can hold emotions in with the best. I can float through the days and make life happen despite all circumstances. I get it from my momma. ha. However, these past days have not been easy. Tears have fallen.
Over a week ago, we received devastating news. Reality....it didn't seem real. The days went by. We went to work, sent our kids to school., soccer, and church. However, in the back of my mind, all I could think of was our friends. The ones that had laughed and cried with us. The ones in our wedding. The ones that truly knew us in our deepest and darkest of days. They were hurting.I didn't and still don't know what to do except pray, text, call and encourage.
My heart hurts for them. Selfishly, I hurt too.
I still see us as college kids (because I am mature like that....four kids later). I didn't, until this tragedy took place. Then, I felt like years hadn't passed. Like we were still all dating. All of us in the basement room in Chalkville with dogs in diapers as the boys jammed.
Yesterday(Friday...still deciding whether or not to post because it is raw), we attended a funeral service for two people that know us best and their families. Ones parents were murdered and ones in laws were. We have loved these two more years than we can actually remember. For as long as we can remember, they were around. Then, life happened and the 4 of us were 2 couples with so many sarcastic jokes that they all cant be remembered.
I am not the writer. Shannon is. She is the English person. Ignore my sentence structure if I ever decide to actually post. I used to write in journals. Then, I had four boys. They find all of my paper and write on it. My thoughts are here and they don't know the passwords. ha.
Yesterday, I hugged our friends. Yesterday, they sat in my kitchen. Yesterday, our college pastor that married us all was in our house. Yesterday, our boys were meeting and loving all these people so crucial and influential in our lives. Yesterday, I felt a sense of peace. I smiled. I laughed, we all did, yet we were hurting.
You see, we buried our friends parents and in laws yesterday. We grieved with and for them. Our friend, Todd, he spoke so gracefully. We all saw glimpses of Glory and Heaven in his words, yet we were sad and heartbroken and questioning.
This was a weird time for us. We haven't buried a parent, much less two AND ESPECIALLY not in this way. We spent countless times at their house. Many spent the night there. Many were prayed for and loved on by these two precious people and it doesn't seem real.
Yesterday, D and I hugged people we haven't seen in years. I smiled at the connections. I took in the moments of jokes. I relished in the minutes prior to saying "good-bye." I watched as our friends so bold and strong in their faith endured the hugs and smiles and heartache. Yet, it made me happy. It is weird. I guess, in that moment more so than ever in my life, I longed for glory. In true Jae fashion, I laughed and joked my way through it, but my heart felt sadness and completion at the same time.
When Jason asked to stay here, I felt ok for the first time in days. I knew it would be good for us. Seeing our boys with him made my momma heart happy.
Having Mark, Shannon, Holly, B and Carrier all here with our family showed me a glimpse of what we all long for. Eternity.
This world, it is so hard. The evil that penetrated all our worlds in the past two weeks has spoken volumes to me as a human and mom. I want my boys to know and cherish and rest in Christ. I want that day to be soon.
I need to be a Jackie. I need people in my home, whether it is clean or not. I need to send the cards and letters. You know why? I have the ones she sent. I remember her playing the piano for the least of these. I remember her supporting the bus ministry and her patience. I know Mark and the way he was brought up. I have seen my husband grieve quietly for his friend. I have wanted to hold Shannon and just hug her.
Yesterday, I got that opportunity. Yesterday, all our worlds collided because of devastating loss. Yesterday, I got a glimpse into eternity. Yesterday, I got to hug and be held by those that helped raise me up in the faith. Yesterday, Todd reminded us of relationships. Hold those near and dear. The memories, they are there. We need the people that go with them!
Selfishly, I LONG for our boys to have what we have. Going to a funeral is sad. Going to a funeral for two at the same time, that were strong believers is one of the hardest things I have done. Throw in friends and relationships and it is that much harder, but GOD. God, God, allowed me to soak it all in and see Him through it all and for that I am grateful.
Please pray for our friends and their families in the days ahead. This journey of grief is far from over for them.
Over a week ago, we received devastating news. Reality....it didn't seem real. The days went by. We went to work, sent our kids to school., soccer, and church. However, in the back of my mind, all I could think of was our friends. The ones that had laughed and cried with us. The ones in our wedding. The ones that truly knew us in our deepest and darkest of days. They were hurting.I didn't and still don't know what to do except pray, text, call and encourage.
My heart hurts for them. Selfishly, I hurt too.
I still see us as college kids (because I am mature like that....four kids later). I didn't, until this tragedy took place. Then, I felt like years hadn't passed. Like we were still all dating. All of us in the basement room in Chalkville with dogs in diapers as the boys jammed.
Yesterday(Friday...still deciding whether or not to post because it is raw), we attended a funeral service for two people that know us best and their families. Ones parents were murdered and ones in laws were. We have loved these two more years than we can actually remember. For as long as we can remember, they were around. Then, life happened and the 4 of us were 2 couples with so many sarcastic jokes that they all cant be remembered.
I am not the writer. Shannon is. She is the English person. Ignore my sentence structure if I ever decide to actually post. I used to write in journals. Then, I had four boys. They find all of my paper and write on it. My thoughts are here and they don't know the passwords. ha.
Yesterday, I hugged our friends. Yesterday, they sat in my kitchen. Yesterday, our college pastor that married us all was in our house. Yesterday, our boys were meeting and loving all these people so crucial and influential in our lives. Yesterday, I felt a sense of peace. I smiled. I laughed, we all did, yet we were hurting.
You see, we buried our friends parents and in laws yesterday. We grieved with and for them. Our friend, Todd, he spoke so gracefully. We all saw glimpses of Glory and Heaven in his words, yet we were sad and heartbroken and questioning.
This was a weird time for us. We haven't buried a parent, much less two AND ESPECIALLY not in this way. We spent countless times at their house. Many spent the night there. Many were prayed for and loved on by these two precious people and it doesn't seem real.
Yesterday, D and I hugged people we haven't seen in years. I smiled at the connections. I took in the moments of jokes. I relished in the minutes prior to saying "good-bye." I watched as our friends so bold and strong in their faith endured the hugs and smiles and heartache. Yet, it made me happy. It is weird. I guess, in that moment more so than ever in my life, I longed for glory. In true Jae fashion, I laughed and joked my way through it, but my heart felt sadness and completion at the same time.
When Jason asked to stay here, I felt ok for the first time in days. I knew it would be good for us. Seeing our boys with him made my momma heart happy.
Having Mark, Shannon, Holly, B and Carrier all here with our family showed me a glimpse of what we all long for. Eternity.
This world, it is so hard. The evil that penetrated all our worlds in the past two weeks has spoken volumes to me as a human and mom. I want my boys to know and cherish and rest in Christ. I want that day to be soon.
I need to be a Jackie. I need people in my home, whether it is clean or not. I need to send the cards and letters. You know why? I have the ones she sent. I remember her playing the piano for the least of these. I remember her supporting the bus ministry and her patience. I know Mark and the way he was brought up. I have seen my husband grieve quietly for his friend. I have wanted to hold Shannon and just hug her.
Yesterday, I got that opportunity. Yesterday, all our worlds collided because of devastating loss. Yesterday, I got a glimpse into eternity. Yesterday, I got to hug and be held by those that helped raise me up in the faith. Yesterday, Todd reminded us of relationships. Hold those near and dear. The memories, they are there. We need the people that go with them!
Selfishly, I LONG for our boys to have what we have. Going to a funeral is sad. Going to a funeral for two at the same time, that were strong believers is one of the hardest things I have done. Throw in friends and relationships and it is that much harder, but GOD. God, God, allowed me to soak it all in and see Him through it all and for that I am grateful.
Please pray for our friends and their families in the days ahead. This journey of grief is far from over for them.
Monday, August 6, 2018
Its Fall Sport TIme
I am a baseball person. My daddy taught me the love for the game early on. I lived at the ballpark. I vividly remember days at the ballpark when I was LITTLE. I loved it. It is my jam.
Fast forward to motherhood. I have four boys. I may or may not have helped B influence them to learn the game starting at about 2. Ha. He had them hitting off a tee then. They could name more Giants players then family members. The twins were in their first year of tball and I picked all the boys up one day. Dad had them out in the yard playing around. He said, "Titus just isn't like them." Here we are 3 years later and he wasn't kidding. The child has played baseball, soccer and flag football. He is solely in it for snacks and snow cones. End of this discussion. Asa and Jude. They love sports. They are competitive although I dont know where that comes from. I mean David Skinner and Jae Skinner aren't.<insert sarcasm here>
I love baseball season. I can't wait for those first practices wrapped in a sweatshirt and blanket. It is my thing. I LOVE IT! Well, we have a fall rule. You play a different sport, ESPECIALLY if you played allstars. All medical research is pointing to taking time off from one sport and using other muscle groups and it being more beneficial in the long run. We aren't trying to raise MLB players over here, but we are trying to stay out of the OR times 4.
All three big boys played soccer last fall. I hated it. It was a weird experience for so many factors and I was just sure we were done with it except for Asa because he really liked it. We let them play in a post season tournament where they excelled and ended up doing very well. I thought, ehhhh, it will be baseball before long and this will be a memory.
Then, I realized they were turning 8. This means it was World Cup time. I know because on PAternity leave with this twins this is what we watched. Every four years. Well, two weeks of soccer happened just about the time all-stars was ending. Lucky me. haha. They were all about some soccer again.
So, here we are embarking on season 2 of soccer. Two will play in the u9 age group. Titus will play in U5 even though he can technically play u5 or u7. Lets face it. u5 is half price and see Titus playing for snacks comment. I am about to be a soccer mom again. This is a humbling time for my 29 year old self because this year....not only am I a soccer mom, I now drive a mini van and have 4 kids. I might as well get some back window decals at this point.
Anyway....I am have a new sport to learn apparently. This is what I know. You run....alot. You are supposed to score GOALS. There is a lot of whistle blowing and they throw index cards at you. I have to bring inhalers that are not needed in baseball. There are no bleachers so a good mom chair is a must. You need lots of water. The concession stand isn't a thing so we eat out alot more at the 10 local burger joints. Our other option is Waffle House or Mexican but not on Mondays. So, here we are embarking on territory that is foreign to me. Let's do this Skinner Clan.
Fast forward to motherhood. I have four boys. I may or may not have helped B influence them to learn the game starting at about 2. Ha. He had them hitting off a tee then. They could name more Giants players then family members. The twins were in their first year of tball and I picked all the boys up one day. Dad had them out in the yard playing around. He said, "Titus just isn't like them." Here we are 3 years later and he wasn't kidding. The child has played baseball, soccer and flag football. He is solely in it for snacks and snow cones. End of this discussion. Asa and Jude. They love sports. They are competitive although I dont know where that comes from. I mean David Skinner and Jae Skinner aren't.<insert sarcasm here>
I love baseball season. I can't wait for those first practices wrapped in a sweatshirt and blanket. It is my thing. I LOVE IT! Well, we have a fall rule. You play a different sport, ESPECIALLY if you played allstars. All medical research is pointing to taking time off from one sport and using other muscle groups and it being more beneficial in the long run. We aren't trying to raise MLB players over here, but we are trying to stay out of the OR times 4.
All three big boys played soccer last fall. I hated it. It was a weird experience for so many factors and I was just sure we were done with it except for Asa because he really liked it. We let them play in a post season tournament where they excelled and ended up doing very well. I thought, ehhhh, it will be baseball before long and this will be a memory.
Then, I realized they were turning 8. This means it was World Cup time. I know because on PAternity leave with this twins this is what we watched. Every four years. Well, two weeks of soccer happened just about the time all-stars was ending. Lucky me. haha. They were all about some soccer again.
So, here we are embarking on season 2 of soccer. Two will play in the u9 age group. Titus will play in U5 even though he can technically play u5 or u7. Lets face it. u5 is half price and see Titus playing for snacks comment. I am about to be a soccer mom again. This is a humbling time for my 29 year old self because this year....not only am I a soccer mom, I now drive a mini van and have 4 kids. I might as well get some back window decals at this point.
Anyway....I am have a new sport to learn apparently. This is what I know. You run....alot. You are supposed to score GOALS. There is a lot of whistle blowing and they throw index cards at you. I have to bring inhalers that are not needed in baseball. There are no bleachers so a good mom chair is a must. You need lots of water. The concession stand isn't a thing so we eat out alot more at the 10 local burger joints. Our other option is Waffle House or Mexican but not on Mondays. So, here we are embarking on territory that is foreign to me. Let's do this Skinner Clan.
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Asa and Jude turn 8
How in the world is it even possible that these two are turning 8? It seems like only yesterday. I remember every detail which I can't say about Titus or Abe's delivery. We weren't expecting it. It wasn't time. At about midnight, I woke up to go to the bathroom and my water broke. We fumbled around like we had all the time in the world. We drove Darby to my parents because she was our first dog child and took our time packing bags.
Once we arrived at the hospital, reality set in that the two of you were being born. It wasn't time. I was 35 weeks. Then, the reality set in of what "could" happen. The next morning, you two were born via c-section because yall were all twisted in there like an L shape.
Ya'll were perfectly healthy at 5lbs 8 oz and 5 lbs 9 oz on that memorial day weekend. I remember every visitor, every pain, every emotion. You two made me a momma. It was a learning milestone. Now, there are 4 of you and we say on a regular basis that the two of you got our best parenting. We were not tired. We were not dreading the next milestone because we had never experienced it. We embraced them all. I love all 4 of you equally, but in all honesty, I remember the firsts you two had the best.
I couldn't wait for you to walk and talk and run. You were our lives. We spent our undivided attention on you. Honestly, you grew us into parents.
We used to spend time in your room at our old house just holding out our arms and waiting on you to run to us as we giggles gleefully. Nothing made us smile as big as your firsts.
Titus came along as you were toddlers. You took all that his first months of life entailed like it was nothing. It rocked our worlds and holding the two of you helped us through those days.
For a long time, we were convincedbthat you loved B and SueSue more than us. Here lately, you want to be with us and it melts our hearts still.
You had a love for baseball early on and it was because of B. You knew all the Giants players better than you could recall family because while we were working, you grew a love for the game. In this season of life, we will divide our attention amongst that love, Titus' desire to play flag football and having a baby, because we are crazy. At the end of the day, making sure you have brushed your teeth, said prayers with daddy, and while I quietly sneak upstairs to make sure you are tucked in, I simply smile. We have made it 8 whole years and you are still here.
You two are smart. You make our mornings easy. You wake up ready to conquer the day. I remember watching the Jetsons at 3 o'clock on the dot while we fed the two of you thinking we would never get passed those days and nights. Now, I relish in the moments you crawl your big selves into my lap on family Bible nights and pray with all my heart that in those moments God conquers your hearts.
You are great students. You strive to do the best you can in all you do. You love your friends. You love new things. You love school. You love learning. You exceed our expectations daily. God could not have given Titus and Abram two better big brothers. We see the way they look at your. The way Titus mimics you. The way you two make Abe belly laugh harder than anyone and we smile.
You made us parents on May 28, 2010 and we are forever grateful. That day, we died a little inside to ourselves because we had you. God gave us you. My prayer since that moment has been that He use the two of you to do great things for His kingdom.
You were our firsts in everything. We have failed so many times, but trust me when I tell you, you got our best parenting skills. ha. We have teachers, friends, parents of friends, church leaders and many others tell us all the time how well behaved you are and we smile silently inside knowing that even in the rough and ugly, you came out just fine.
I literally am having a hard time with this 8 year old milestone. In ten short years, you two will be out on your own to conquer the world. My prayer from here has changed a little, yet remains the same. Not only do I pray that God gets your heart and you do great things for His kingdom, I pray that it is soon. I pray that through your daddy and I, you see Christ and He brings you to Him. People are not lying when they say the days are long and the years are short. I can't believe we are 8 years in this parenting journey.
You made us and Mom and Dad and you make our hearts swell with joy and pride as we celebrate both of you.
Asa of base(as I lovingly call you), you are the first born and so much like your daddy. You love deeply and think silently on everything. Words of affirmation make and break you. You are a great big brother and herd our flock of kids the best. The little people, even Jude rely on you. You are the oldest. I get that part and I work everyday to meet your needs because we are almost polar opposites. Sometimes, you get away with more than Jude because I know you are your daddy and you are passionate about your stand.
Jude(Man has stuck from day 1), you are me. You look the most like me. Your heart is the most like mine. You are me in a relationship with your daddy and your twin to a T. Yall are basically little David and Jae's. Parenting you for me is definitely the hardest because you are a mini me. I know where your hear and head are. I see me every time I high five and spank you. I pray more specifics for you than anyone because I know that heart. I see it. I love you all equally, but I KNOW you. You are me. Sometimes, you get away with a little more than Titus because I know that thought process. I know you have weighed it all in your little head and I hear you.
I love you both to "Jesus and back" {as you used to pray}. Being on this journey the last 8 years with the two of you has grown us as parents and humans. I pray that we point you to the cross even in our failures. Happy 8th Birthday to our firstborn twins which still blows my mind. We love YOU BOTH!!!!!
Happy 8th Birthday, Asa and Jude. We are so blessed to be your parents. You still eat like you are at the ballpark even at home, although, Jude is still the best eater(he gets it from his momma). Your brothers look up to you two and yall both make the baby laugh the hardest. I am still convinced B is your favorite person as yall look to him for answers over us to this day. I hear "Call B and ask him" more than I like to admit. You LOVE your friends and see no faults even as you tell us stories of what people say at school and we cringe at times. You love the beach, pool, water, respect sleep the best out of all 4 children(see the above about getting our best parenting), you both love going to church and still name each other as your best friend to which makes us swell with happiness. You two will always have a bond most wish to have, especially Titus. He is dying for people to say Abe is his twin.
Love you sweet boys,
Mom
Once we arrived at the hospital, reality set in that the two of you were being born. It wasn't time. I was 35 weeks. Then, the reality set in of what "could" happen. The next morning, you two were born via c-section because yall were all twisted in there like an L shape.
Ya'll were perfectly healthy at 5lbs 8 oz and 5 lbs 9 oz on that memorial day weekend. I remember every visitor, every pain, every emotion. You two made me a momma. It was a learning milestone. Now, there are 4 of you and we say on a regular basis that the two of you got our best parenting. We were not tired. We were not dreading the next milestone because we had never experienced it. We embraced them all. I love all 4 of you equally, but in all honesty, I remember the firsts you two had the best.
I couldn't wait for you to walk and talk and run. You were our lives. We spent our undivided attention on you. Honestly, you grew us into parents.
We used to spend time in your room at our old house just holding out our arms and waiting on you to run to us as we giggles gleefully. Nothing made us smile as big as your firsts.
Titus came along as you were toddlers. You took all that his first months of life entailed like it was nothing. It rocked our worlds and holding the two of you helped us through those days.
For a long time, we were convincedbthat you loved B and SueSue more than us. Here lately, you want to be with us and it melts our hearts still.
You had a love for baseball early on and it was because of B. You knew all the Giants players better than you could recall family because while we were working, you grew a love for the game. In this season of life, we will divide our attention amongst that love, Titus' desire to play flag football and having a baby, because we are crazy. At the end of the day, making sure you have brushed your teeth, said prayers with daddy, and while I quietly sneak upstairs to make sure you are tucked in, I simply smile. We have made it 8 whole years and you are still here.
You two are smart. You make our mornings easy. You wake up ready to conquer the day. I remember watching the Jetsons at 3 o'clock on the dot while we fed the two of you thinking we would never get passed those days and nights. Now, I relish in the moments you crawl your big selves into my lap on family Bible nights and pray with all my heart that in those moments God conquers your hearts.
You are great students. You strive to do the best you can in all you do. You love your friends. You love new things. You love school. You love learning. You exceed our expectations daily. God could not have given Titus and Abram two better big brothers. We see the way they look at your. The way Titus mimics you. The way you two make Abe belly laugh harder than anyone and we smile.
You made us parents on May 28, 2010 and we are forever grateful. That day, we died a little inside to ourselves because we had you. God gave us you. My prayer since that moment has been that He use the two of you to do great things for His kingdom.
You were our firsts in everything. We have failed so many times, but trust me when I tell you, you got our best parenting skills. ha. We have teachers, friends, parents of friends, church leaders and many others tell us all the time how well behaved you are and we smile silently inside knowing that even in the rough and ugly, you came out just fine.
I literally am having a hard time with this 8 year old milestone. In ten short years, you two will be out on your own to conquer the world. My prayer from here has changed a little, yet remains the same. Not only do I pray that God gets your heart and you do great things for His kingdom, I pray that it is soon. I pray that through your daddy and I, you see Christ and He brings you to Him. People are not lying when they say the days are long and the years are short. I can't believe we are 8 years in this parenting journey.
You made us and Mom and Dad and you make our hearts swell with joy and pride as we celebrate both of you.
Asa of base(as I lovingly call you), you are the first born and so much like your daddy. You love deeply and think silently on everything. Words of affirmation make and break you. You are a great big brother and herd our flock of kids the best. The little people, even Jude rely on you. You are the oldest. I get that part and I work everyday to meet your needs because we are almost polar opposites. Sometimes, you get away with more than Jude because I know you are your daddy and you are passionate about your stand.
Jude(Man has stuck from day 1), you are me. You look the most like me. Your heart is the most like mine. You are me in a relationship with your daddy and your twin to a T. Yall are basically little David and Jae's. Parenting you for me is definitely the hardest because you are a mini me. I know where your hear and head are. I see me every time I high five and spank you. I pray more specifics for you than anyone because I know that heart. I see it. I love you all equally, but I KNOW you. You are me. Sometimes, you get away with a little more than Titus because I know that thought process. I know you have weighed it all in your little head and I hear you.
I love you both to "Jesus and back" {as you used to pray}. Being on this journey the last 8 years with the two of you has grown us as parents and humans. I pray that we point you to the cross even in our failures. Happy 8th Birthday to our firstborn twins which still blows my mind. We love YOU BOTH!!!!!
Love you sweet boys,
Mom
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